


A Summary of Olympus

by SwaggerDownTheStreet



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Canon Relationships, Crack, Parody, Spoilers, Summary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22610575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwaggerDownTheStreet/pseuds/SwaggerDownTheStreet
Summary: After reading a similar fic for Dragon Quest Builders 2, I decided I'm going to summarize Uncle Rick's two Greek gods series, and maybe ToA if I get around to it. Not meant to be taken seriously. It's crack, okay, and it goes by what I can remember so I might forget stuff.
Kudos: 3





	A Summary of Olympus

We begin with Percy, a twelve-year-old Problem Child™ with dyslexia and ADHD. This boi has been kicked out of every school he's ever been to and it's all very emotional and stuff.

This year, he's @ Yancy Academy and they go on a field trip to a museum. Then Nancy Bratface starts being mean to Grover, who is Percy's wimp of a best friend and who for some reason has a goatee, even though he's a sixth grader. 

Things happen and suddenly BOOM Nancy is in the fountain and people think OMG THE WATER GRABBED HER!!!1!!1!1!!! and Percy gets yelled at by Mrs. Dodds the psycho pre-algebra teacher. She brings him inside and becomes a demon bat lady who tries to kill him, but thankfully, the English teacher shows up in his wheel chair and chucks Percy a pen, which oh never mind it's a bronze sword.

So Percy is charged by his demon bat lady math teacher and reflexively slices her and she turns into sand and dissolves lol. I mean, I'm not judging, I hate math too.

But THEN, all of Percy's classmates and teachers tell him there WAS no Mrs. Dodds and that he's gone crazy. Except Grover, because he's a smol boi who stutters when he lies.

Then school is over and Percy sees three old ladies knitting socks by a fruit stand and Grover freaks out for some reason but eh it's New York this ain't nothin unusual so Percy goes home and we meet Stinky Gabe who sucks and then Percy and Sally (his mom because his biological dad is dead) go to Miami or whatever and so they're in this dingy cottage while there's a big storm.

THEN, Grover shows up with no pants and WOAH turns out his legs are goat legs huh and they get in the car and drive very fast while a big thing chases them and then they get to a long island called long island and then BOOM LIGHTNING their car flips off the road and Grover is unconcious so they all run to a hill with a pine tree but then this giant moose man comes along and squuezes Percy's maternal lady into nonexistance and Percy kills the bull guy with Adrenaline™ and then drags Grover to a ranch house porch and passes out.

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡TIME SKIP!!!!!!!!!!

Percy wakes up and WOAH turns out he's half god and his dad isn't dead after all and huh Chiron the English teacher is actually a horse dude and doesn't need a wheelchair its just a clever disguise haha.

So. They play Capture-the-Flag and Percy's by a river wen BOOM AMBUSH and three psychos come out and try to kill him cuz he'd previously blown the toilets up on them haha. 

So he beats them all up and then Luke the Hermes dude gets the flag. Then a hellhound tries to kill Percy and he is told to step into the river and WOOAH there's a holographic trident thing above his head now so apparently he's the son of Poseidon, (who by the way isn't actually supposed to have kids) who is King of the Ocean lmao

Next thing you know, Percy needs to go on a Quest™ to get Zues' lightning bolt back to him so he can prove he's innocent cuz Gods. 

He gets on a bus with Annabeth (a pretty blonde girl who says Percy drools when he sleeps and is super scary and stuff) and Grover Goatman. The bus is blown up by the Demon Bat Ladies™.

They sleep in the woods.

Next day, oh hello pink poodle, whats that, we have to go where, ok sounds legit haha. They follow Pink Poodle's directions and encounter: War God, Zoo Truck, Love Tunnel spider ambush, Medusa the garden gnome lady, Crusy the matress-seller, and a hotel that tries to kidnap you, not necessarily in that order.

THEN, they have to go to the Underworld via a random building in New York and they go past Flufy the three-headed dog and have to get stuff from Hades the Dead King God and stuff and then they teleprtal into San Fransisco bay and fight Bad War Guy Ares and then they fly back to New York, where they go to the nonexistant 600th floor of the empire state building which turns out is a sheared off mountain where the gods live lol

Percy gives Lightning Bolt back to Zeus and Poseidon comes to chat and there is emotional father-son bonding and stuff. 

THEN, Percy goes back to camp and they celebrate and its Percy's birthday and stuff and then it turns out Luke the awesome kind and welcoming Hermes dude is not so awesome and kind and welcoming after all.

(fyi he gave Percy magic fly shies that tried to drag Grover into Tarturus (monster Hell) while they were Down There™ but apparently it was meant for Percy just a little tidbit of info there lol)

So Luke tries to kill him with a scorpion and runs off but luckily the nice tree ladies helped him and he got better and then Percy's mom came back yay happy fun times :)

But then next summer bad more stuff happened lol.


End file.
